Running Out of Gas

running out of gasI run out of gas often. Not figuratively, as you might expect from a post like this. Literally.  No kidding.  There is almost no thrill greater to me than seeing the fuel gauge blink for days. I believe, in life, that risk is the reward. Yes, risk is the reward, and I will stand by that. For many years I drove an SUV and had only a few days mileage on a twenty gallon tank. What a thrill! I’d run out of gas at least once a year and I’d love it.  Thanks to AAA, rescue was only thirty minutes away.  In 2007, I decided that my impact on the environment was bugging me.  I had just seen the documentary “Who Killed the Electric Car” and decided to stick it to big oil.

So, that Fall, I ordered a Toyota Prius from my local dealership. I learned that all of Toyota’s first cars on the lot are silver. So I chose silver so I could have the first one. At that time, Larry David, star of HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, had a silver Prius, so I wanted a silver Prius.  A month or so later, the Prius arrives and I am amazed at the mileage. Not quite the 55 MPG they tell you in the commercial but, after ten years, I still get more than 40 MPG easy. That’s triple — yes, TRIPLE what my Jeep Grand Cherokee got. So I’m driving like I’ve never driven before. Not fast. Because the sweet spot on a Prius is 40. So I’m going 40 everywhere of course. The lead foot jerk behind be can take a pill.  So you would think, after getting a car that gets better mileage, I’d never run out of gas again, right? Wrong!  Still, in my Prius, I run out of gas at least once per year. Am I forgetful? Maybe. Am I lazy? Maybe. Are these the reasons I pass six gas stations with an empty tank? Nope!

The best way to illustrate this feeling in pop culture is an episode of “Seinfeld” entitled “The Dealership” where Kramer lures the car salesman into a test drive in a Saab 900 NG convertible.  They go for the test drive and Kramer misses the turn to go back to the dealership; instead, he plans to give the car a full test of a Kramer daily routine.  Initially, the salesman is confused.  This is where it gets fun.  With his errands run, Kramer’s next test is to take the car to the limits of its fuel tank.  The car salesman riding with Kramer gets thrilled at driving with the gasoline needle below empty.  Kramer and the salesman, with the dealership in sight, decide instead to go for it in the manner of Thelma and Louise. The car however, soon rolls to a stop. Kramer exits the car after saying, “Well, I’ll think about it.”

This is how I handle most days.  Many of you may think that a man who has won twenty thousand cases and run a business for more than fifteen years would never say he’s wrong.  You’re wrong.  As illustrated above, I am constantly fulfilled by choices. This one included. How did you find this page? Exactly! Let’s connect based on content!

The Problem With Hyde

One of the greatest reads in my entire life was Robert Louis Stevenson’s 19th century novella “Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde“.  In this, Stevenson tells the story of an attorney who is investigating the evil acts of a man who calls himself Edward Hyde.  The investigation leads him to find that Hyde is actually an alternate personality of his old friend, Dr. Henry Jekyll.  Since the publishing of this story, the Jekyll/Hyde concept is one of the most celebrated and imitated in all of literature.  This is because it is, in my opinion, the most relevant piece of fiction in all of sociology, psychology and criminology.  Ever. Without exception.

Since 1995, I’ve been working as an undercover operative.  My undercover identity, Ray, is so much a part of me that, at times, it is difficult to separate him fully from my front-facing personality. Ray is a charismatic creep with a silver tongue and charm you would not believe.  On my first date with a girl in my early 20’s, she said to me that “If there was a Devil, he would look just like you.” She explained that the Devil, in her interpretation, would be boyishly handsome, charming and welcoming, but with a darkness in his eyes. Since Ray was already bubbling under the surface, I took this as a compliment and I eventually married her. After Ray fully came to being in the late-90’s (my late-20’s) we made a bargain.  We shared this body as long as most of what happens benefits the mission.  The mission being successfully catching crooks while occasionally letting Ray have his fun.  For almost two decades, Ray has been doing his thing while Rob Holmes has solved almost 20,000 cases.  Even though everything he does is legal, Ray is one of the most tasteless creeps you’ll ever come in contact with if you have the good fortune.  Ray will infiltrate the deepest corners of whatever evil crime ring he decides to waltz into.  Ray complies with the law and keeps Rob’s wife free and clear of the person who does the dirty work.  If dealt with properly, overtly bargaining with Hyde can work out quite well! Ray, obviously my Hyde, is such a cool guy that Rob loves him and sometimes even wants to be him.  I implore you, ladies and gentlemen, if you are fortunate enough to have a Hyde, work with him/her.  You both have skills and needs and can benefit one another.

The best example in modern fiction of this dynamic working successfully is a BBC show called “Murphy’s Law” that starred the great James Nesbitt. Shortly thereafter, Nesbitt starred in the BBC show Jekyll where he made Hannibal Lecter look like a baby koala. In contrast, one of the best films of the 90’s was “Fight Club” starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton.  In this film the main character, Jack, was plagued by a bad influence friend, Tyler Durden, who turns out to be his Hyde which is only revealed in the film’s final scene. Filmmaking at its best, “Fight Club” illustrates chaos and confusion that a conflicted man experiences when fighting his Hyde. In this article, I urge you not to fight him/her.  Make a bargain with Hyde.  At 47 years old, I have spent more than half of my life with Ray and I am living the full and abundant life that I was meant to live. Understand your Hyde is not the Devil.  He/she embodies your primal desires.  If you strike a deal with Hyde, you are coming to terms with a life balance that could change your life for the best.  Live it to the fullest and win, baby!

New Year, New Goals!

Hey all!

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been doing some rebranding.  Holmes P.I. is now my dedicated personal blog which will include a mix of professional and personal opinions and ramblings. Having always been an arm of IPCybercrime, Knockoff Report™ is now a part of the official IPC blog at So please go to that URL and sign up for the list over there. Via the IPCybercrime mailing list, Knockoff Report™ will be sent out the 1st Tuesday of every month. I’m excited to announce that we will now be publishing valuable content weekly including our usual industry Op-Eds and our newest offering, CyberSec Roundup™. CyberSec Roundup™ will be published on the 3rd Tuesday of every month and feature all of the relevant cyber security news stories for the month in one handy dandy place!

Here, on Holmes, P.I., I will be focusing on things that affect me individually, both personal and professional. So this is where to get all the juicy stuff! If you peruse the archives, you will see everything from my philosophy on life to investigative techniques. Here, you will get all of Rob. 100%. No holds barred, for better or worse!

Having said that, here is an update on what”s been going on with me:

  • Last year I hit my all time high weight of 265 lb. I decided to do something about it and dropped more than 30 lb. in 2017. I’m looking to keep it going in 2018 and, hopefully, you all will be able to experience the stud you knew in the 90s by the end of the year.
  • Life in Los Angeles has been great. Jason is still running the entire operation from our Plano, TX office. Here, I work on building business, consulting, and walking on the beach with my dog Chauncey.
  • As far as IPCybercrime, we’ve had many new developments. Namely, we are winding down our day-to-day Brand Protection work to focus on Incident Response and Physical Threats via the Internet. We’ll still be working in the Brand Protection field, but focusing mainly on consulting for major cases.

Other than that, I hope you all have been doing well and this year brings you the best fortune. Keep up to date with me here and IPC on our blog there.

Here’s to a rockin’ 2018!

Now, I’m going to finish my coffee…

Stain on blog from Rob's coffee cup

Living by Accident: The Philosophy

Hi. I’m Rob Holmes.

Have you ever wondered where your next meal was coming from? Or where you’ll be sleeping next month? If you haven’t, you may not be a member of the contingent who can understand this blog. If you can’t relate, please do us both a favor and tune out now.  If you are still here, and can think as deeply as required, let me fill you in on why I believe what I do.

I was born in South Jersey in 1970 and my mother committed suicide right after my eleventh birthday. I spent more than two decades trying to make sense of it until my father does the same. I guess to follow her down. I don’t know. But all I know is that, back in 2004, I was a man in his early thirties with major issues.  Again, no pity.  Just journey.

Living by AccidentIn order to understand me, let’s go backward two decades. Even though I was not raised in a religious home, I always knew there was a force from beyond that was drawing me in. This led me to research my options. Even though the Old Testament seemed a bit too violent and rule-ridden, I felt the New Testament, or at least the Red Letters (the words of Jesus) made sense to me. In high school, I read Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time”. During this period, I also got involved in church and found Jesus. Since then, I’ve read Hawking’s updates and closely follow Michio Kaku’s findings. I soon found myself combining the discipline of quantum mechanics and the Big Bang with the existence of God, then wound up in the worlds of Albert EinsteinJohn Calvin and Isaac Newton. Down the rabbit hole I went. The concept of non-linear time and predestination had my attention. Nothing else makes sense. Time happened. Shakespeare said that all the worlds a stage and we each must play our part. Shakespeare… Calvin… Einstein… Hawking… Kaku… I agree with the common denominator. Time is not linear.

This brings me to explaining the title of the blog to to you. The phrase “Living By Accident” and subtitle “Sometimes Risk is the Reward” refer to the feeling of helplessness when acting out our places in the Universe. Some folks want to believe they are masters of their own destinies. Things are not that simple. If time is not linear, which many quantum theorists believe, everything has already happened. This brings me to the belief that everything has already happened.  This brings me to focus on the subtitle that “Sometimes Risk is the Reward.” I believe that it is the journey itself, and belief in the process, is the real reward.

You must understand, however, that believing in the concept of ‘Living by Accident’ is not to live life without deliberate purpose. It is merely to acknowledge that the blueprint has already been laid out prior to our involvement and our purpose is to fulfill the role(s) set out for us. Again, a devout atheist may tell you the idea is crazy. However, quantum mechanics will bring a reasonable person back to the reality that time is not linear and, likely, already predetermined. This brings me to the reality that human beings are in this existence to live their lives to the fullest to a predetermined end.

Life is amazing. Nothing is random. Deal with it. Live it. Love it.

Fakes in Film: Orphan Black

Fakes-in-Film-Orphan-Black-300x300Anybody watch the Season 2 Premiere of this cool show?! Well, if you didn’t this post may be a bit of a spoiler, but not much.  For those of you who have not seen the show yet, here is a brief summary: Orphan Black is a Canadian science fiction television series starring Tatiana Maslany as several identical women who are revealed to be clones. The series focuses on Sarah Manning, a woman who assumes the identity of her clone, Elizabeth (Beth) Childs, after witnessing Beth’s suicide. The series raises issues about the moral and ethical implications of human cloning and its effect on issues of personal identity.

From an entertainment perspective my respect goes out to the lead actress, Tatiana Maslany, who plays multiple roles including a streetsmart grifter (Sarah), a manic suburban mom (Alison), a pot-smoking lesbian scientist (Cosima) and a feral Russian assassin (Helena) among others. For those of you who have not seen the show (yet), the main character is Sarah, who is partnered with Alison and Cosima, pooling their collective resources to figure out who made them and who is trying to kill them off.  Maslany’s award-worthy performances are often done playing opposite herself, whether in shootouts or comedic banter.  But the reason I’m writing about Orphan Black on Knockoff Report is the cloning issue. On the surface, cloning can be an interesting topic in the IP debate.

The thing that made me think hard about this wasn’t the epically cool first season.  It was this week’s Season 2 premiere that really brought out the IP geek in me.  The scientist, Cosima, is investigating the codes embedded in their DNA and cracks it. Turns out, embedded in her DNA, and the rest of her clone sisters is a patent notice. Her quote, “We’re property. They patented us.” was the topic of this episode which was entitled “Personal Property”. As interesting as this seems, this is still not why Rob Holmes, an anticounterfeiting expert and enthusiast, was drawn to write about this.  Here is the reason: I admit I do not know the outcome of the entire series and this is where speculation comes in. But, assuming one of the individuals is an original… are the patent owners actually counterfeiters? I say yes.  If I owned the patent for a duplication device, it would not give me rights over the items I copy.  Only rights overs the duplication process.  A patent is a grant of ownership over a specific process. Patents do not protect images, words or content.  This show is very good and I hope it goes on for many seasons.  If this is the case, we will not know some of those answers for years to come.  This means my actual argument may not even be valid until perhaps more seasons pass.  Is there an original?  Was the original created, or born?  But, as an IP geek, this is fun stuff and will keep us thinking for many years to come.

Now, I’m going to finish my coffee.

Fakes in Film: Dallas, Baby!

dallasIt’s an ironic thing that I’m located in the same town but, yes, I watch the TNT drama “Dallas” based on the 1980s phenomenon of the same name. To my defense, it’s located in my current city… but the soap opera aspects of the show are still quite appealing. Oil men, big business, politics, hot chicks… no problem putting in my time.

As y’all know the main character J.R. Ewing’s, his son John Ross Ewing, is caught between two (or more) women. One of the women, Elena Ramos (Jordana Brewster), is loyal to the Ewing family. Her brother Drew, on the other hand, is still trying to find his place in the world and to prove his worth to his sister. In addition to trying to prove his worth to his sister on the Ewing’s Southfork Ranch, he takes a job running goods across the Texas/Mexico border for Ewing rival Harris Ryland (Mitch Pileggi). A casualty of the rivalry, poor Drew gets caught transporting a truckload of counterfeit designer goods across the US/Mexican border.

Don’t blame the Ewings for this mess. Ryland was the mastermind of the counterfeiting operation from the beginning. But poor Drew is stuck in the middle. After the counterfeit goods incident, Ryland uses misguided Drew to pull off another operation against his own better judgment. But, sadly, there were casualties. If you’re up to date on the show may you know that Drew comes out from hiding this week.

No matter your angle on the show itself (I, personally, side with John Ross), the counterfeit goods arrest will certainly bite Drew, but not as badly as the demolitions operation that killed Christopher’s twins. If you’re not watching the show, IP interest aside, you’re missing out on some good old fashioned soap opera fun. Tune in baby!

Fakes in Film: American Gangster

american_gangster_posterWelcome to ‘Fakes in Film’, the first in a new series of articles featuring counterfeit goods and trademark infringement featured in movies and television.  More and more, this topic is being included in pop culture and we want to be there to show it to you.  Some references will be old/retro and some will be completely new.  So here goes…

One of my favorite crime films of the last decade is Ridley Scott’s epic “American Gangster” starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. The film chronicles the rise and fall of real-life drug kingpin Frank Lucas (Washington) who is pursued by the flawed hero Richie Roberts (Crowe).

As a businessman I quickly connected with Lucas’ recognition of eliminating the middleman to connect directly with the supplier. He immediately doubled his profits after this step and gained respect from his peers by how he eliminated said middleman.  As a crime-fighter I related to Roberts’ pure motives and focus on the prize.  He wanted to stop Lucas’ criminal activities at all cost.  He did.

What does this film have to do with trademark infringement?  Of all films in recent years this sticks out with me the most.  Frank Lucas (Washington) is enjoying the spoils of the success of his uncut heroine on the streets on 1970s New York City.  What many may not recall is that he created a brand for this drug called “Blue Magic”.  When a competitor began using his trademark to distribute substandard drugs, he quickly met with this individual and explained the situation to him as follows:

  • “Blue Magic is a brand name; as much a brand name as Pepsi. I own it. I stand behind it. I guarantee it and people know that even if they don’t know me any more than they know the chairman of General Foods.  What you’re doing, as far as I’m concerned, when you chop my dope down to five percent, is trademark infringement.”

This illustrates to me, more than the usual venues, how brand recognition is so important that it transcends even legal commerce.  Brands rule, baby.  They rule completely.  Even though many of us spend our time trying to stop criminals from infringing on our clients’ trademarks, they too care about their own brands.  Irony?  yes.  Another way to track them?  Yes also.

Now I’m going to finish my coffee.

Living by Accident

Sometimes Risk is the Reward

Hi-Tech P.I.

Helping people see the forest for the trees, online.

Holmes, P.I.™

The Many Ramblings of a Not-So-Mad Man

%d bloggers like this: