Liar Liar Pants On FirePosted: May 6, 2008
One of the reasons companies hire me is for my unrelenting commitment to never, ever accuse an innocent of a crime. In my opinion, there is nothing more lazy than doing that. If you have a doubt, keep the file open. A reasonable client would rather wait for you to get your facts straight than be wrong.
An amateur mistake is to confuse probability with fact. Probability is the basis for following a clue. Without it, we would have no starting point, sidewalk, road or vehicle. In true great detective work, one does not reach a conclusion until every ounce of his being says he can stake his life on that very thing. That it not being exceptional. It is being a decent human being.
I close over a thousand cases per year and have been doing this work since 1995. I have developed proprietary methods never used outside our IPCyber-walls. Some techniques my people utilize are so subtle, so delicate, that we extract just enough data without ever arousing suspicion. A suspect provides identifying data to me, never knowing what they had just done.
So when I close a case and nail every nail in the coffin of a counterfeiter, and they cry after being served with a lawsuit, exclaiming what I call the ‘Dylan defense’ (Ain’t Me Babe), I can only reply with a song Chuck Brodsky originally wrote about Richard Nixon. Here is the chorus:
Liar liar, pants on fire
See you squirm, see you perspire
Not a word you say is true
There’s never been one out of you