How Boogies and Jesus Prepared me for COVID-19

I’ve lived my life by one rule. Everybody picks their nose. Don’t deny it. It’s true. How is this relevant to the current pandemic? The answer is simple. I’ve spent a good portion of my life avoiding touching things that others have touched. For example, I always take the second cup from the Slurpee cup dispenser. Yes, it is possible that somebody took of the top cup and rubbed a boogie on the second one just to get my goat, but it’s not incredibly likely. The same goes for valet parking. I see my car almost as an extension of myself and I believe I’m not alone in this philosophy. So it should go without saying that we have an intimate relationship with our steering wheel. Sort of like our favorite coffee mug or cereal bowl. If a strange guy in a red jacket rubbed his paws on one of those, you’d not be pleased. Perhaps even skeeved. This is why I avoid valet parking if I can, and have wipes handy just in case.

Many of those who know me know that I was involved in the Christian ministry for the better part of my youth. Okay, Rob. How does this relate to boogies? I’m glad you asked! After the end of church service one Sunday afternoon, the pastor was saying goodbye to each member as they exited as he did every week. I was chit-chatting with him about something and he turned to me. He said, “Rob, don’t ever touch your face with your right hand.” He then explained that germs are transferred through handshaking more than any other way. People touch their face, then shake your hand, then you touch your face. Bam! A cold is communicated.

Ever since those days, I’ve developed a habit of never touching my face with my right hand. Being left-handed, this gives me an extra advantage because I also use my left to touch food and other things that end up nearing my eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. The process is very simple. You have one clean hand and one dirty hand. The clean hand touches your face (including picking your own nose), and the dirty hand touches God-knows-what you need to touch when you are out.

It amazes me that the CDC, the WHO, and all of our politicians have missed informing us about this basic technique. We’ve seen them tell us not to touch our faces, which is impossible. They’ve told us to wear gloves and masks, but this does not substitute from the good old fashioned Clean Hand / Dirty Hand technique. It’s a good one, and remember. It was my idea, so think of me when you avoid boogies… or germs.

Now, I’m going to finish my coffee.

Stain on blog from Rob's coffee cup