bobs doing it now.

he is calling me from beyond.

what an asshole to leave

and expect me to join his party.

there was a party here.

aint no party anymore.

your smug picture doesnt do it bob.

it aint you and neither was that crappy note.

we all feel it

dont pretend you are special

no one is special

except me.  didnt you know that?

this is the end of the beginning

it is my way of stopping

stopping what, you say?



i can hear her calling my name from the other side.

is it better over there, or is she just lonely?

does she want my best, or does she just want me?

being here ain’t so hot, but it is here and i know here well

i don’t know there, but it’s calling my name

she is calling my name

the one who bore me

the one i hate

why do i care?

i just do

bob’s last words

I travel in the darkness
so I can eat my pie
I travel in the light
so I can see the lie
The lion and the jackal
are at odds with nature
I gaze at the past
while I eat the future
I am neither buried nor cold
dead or beaten
I am yours no more


The first day of forever
was the day that we had met.
Each time I got you see you
the happier I would get.

The second day of forever
was when our lips first touched.
That moment was so magical
I never before felt so much.

The third day of forever
was the happiest in my life.
The greatest joy and honor
was to take you as my wife.

With each day that passes
With everything I do
I have a deeper purpose
Because forever began with you.

making music in the desert tonight

making music in the desert tonight
nowhere to run and theres no one in sight

banging my drum real fast and hard
if i hit it any harder it will fall apart

theres no winners or losers this far out
aint barely nothing to think about

nowhere to go for hundreds of miles
i havent eaten for quite a while

cant tell the day from the night anymore
dont even know what im looking for

hungry for love and im hungry for food
i dont know why im such a hungry dude

ive been floating in this raft out here in the sea
im shooting a flare no one can see

i can look for miles and cant see a boat
this raft is my castle and the sea is my moat

im in a dark little room

im in a dark little room and there’s no one i can see
someone else is in here. i wish i could see

i feel the walls and cant find a door
i scream for myself as a curl up on the floor

as he circles my space my fear smells sweet
hes so cold and quiet yet i can feel his heart beat

i screamed in vain til my throat was sore
in his quiet candor i could feel him want more

i dont know this man but i have all my life
hes slashing my soul with his big sharp knife

if i knew him, id hate myself
ive always wished he was someone else

i really can’t wait for this night to end
im scared to death of my ugly friend

if i kill him, he will kill me
id kill myself and then id be free

The Lion Down the Hall

I got locked out one night when no one else was home,
I must have lost my key so I’ll spend the night alone;

A painting of a lion standing proud and tall,
Fiercely smiled at me and dared me through the hall;

Doors open and doors close as I stagger down that hall,
No one wants to let me in to feel safe within their walls;

Each room is dark and cold yet I’d die to go inside,
When they come to hunt me down I’ve got nowhere to hide;

I might outrun them for a while but someday I’d have to sleep,
And they’ll be right in back of me. I’m the meal they’ve longed to eat;

I close my eyes, my body shakes, I take off down the hall,
I see my goal, my eyes are set on the lion down the hall;

My heart is pounding as I reach the golden frame,
The demons are behind me but the picture’s not the same;

The lion got real hazy but the picture is much clearer,
I must be going crazy, all along it was a mirror.

I could have the strength to win this fight,
If I die, I’ll die proud;
So I turned and lashed with all my might,
With my mighty roar aloud;

All my life I faced my fears and felt so weak and small,
While all that time I never knew the lion down the hall.

carry me through the heavy snow

carry me through the heavy snow
im afraid of the cold
im afraid of the cold
when youre tired and have to put me down
it will still be cold

hold my hand through the misty night
im afraid of the dark
im afraid of the dark
day will pass and it will be nigth again
it will still be dark

talk to me when i feel alone
im afraid of the silence
im afraid of the silence
sooner or later, you will have to leave
it will still be silent

feed me on this christmas day
im afraid to go hungry
im afraid to go hungry
next year, christmas will come again
i will still be hungry

i burn in the cold
see in the dark
hear the silence
eat the hunger

you help me and ill never get strong
when you are with me, im nothing but alone

this heart is torn

this heart is torn
between what’s been and what is now

a lifetime of mistakes
and good memories dictates my thoughts

the meshing together of your life with mine
is a tough challenge and gives me great hope

the future is brighter
than the past could have been

we’ll make it there together
and we’ll be there forever

the nightmares deep inside of me

the nightmares deep inside of me
aren’t really all that bad
there’s not much in this dreamful mind
to make this grown man sad

i’ve fought with demons
i’ve stepped on satan’s toes
ive had bad luck on my side
when ive had plenty to lose

this man can be a demon
when he really wants to be
this guy’s a god damned lunatic
when he sets his true self free

im not about to let them say
what my life should do
i know some day ill shut them up
when i make my dreams come true

i jogged the path that took me here
although it was on fire
there’s no way to get me down
because each breath takes me higher

my heart beats

my heart beats
because he has no choice
So strong and
yet he makes no noise

He relentlessly pumps
with undying devotion
He gives life
and puts my body in motion

He doesn’t really work
He doesn’t even try
but he never gives up
and ill never know why

if i love with my heart
and let my mind go free
i’ve no need to hear,
to smell or to see

my heart is crazy
my blood runs wild
my passions unbound
in the mind of a child

my heart, he makes
some tough decisions
which no one can do
with foresight and vision

i try to run

i try to run
but i only see it clearer
i run for the shadows
they hunt me down like a pack of panthers
so silent and so beautiful
with a deadly striking force

i cant run fast enough
to evade their perfect stealth
i cant look fierce enough
to stand up and make them stop

my eyes are closed
my body shakes
my mind is always running

so far, so far, so far away…

from you

im driving toward the future

im driving toward the future
running from my past
i didn’t have to shoot her
but she coulda had more class

you picked a bad time to cheat on me
and you didn’t care a bit
i dont know where your soul is baby
but i don’t give a shit

i put six shots into your head
and your brains were pouring all over
today must be my lucky day
and you’re my four leaf clover

im an elevator man

im an elevator man
i go up and down
up and down up and down
but i never move
cause im an elevator man

higher and higher.  lower and lower
i try to speed up, but i only go slower
if i could get off this thing, id try to pick a floor
id try to find my own life. how do i open the door?

is this a living hell, or just a prison cell?
is there more?  is there more?

i dont have any dreams
someone’s stolen all of them
if i dream another dream
it’ll just get stolen again

try and save me.  you’re my only hope
come on baby, throw me a rope

darling don’t look now, but the cable’s wearing thin.
if you cant help me out, then youve got to come in

im an elevator man
goin up and down
because i never move

maybe i sound too stupid

maybe i sound too stupid
maybe i sound kind of dumb
i feel so strange whenever i see you
youre like the morning sun

i never know what to say or how to act
because i don’t know how you feel
you dont know how many times
i wanted to be for real
to tell you what im thinking
how great i think you are

your eyes are like diamonds
the best ive ever seen
oh, how much i want to tell you
what i really mean

i think youre cool

so far, no good

i see the skyscrapers that reach to the sky
i see the birds and wish i could fly
man has come so far
so far, no good

god made man from his head to his toe
to be so great, so peaceful
there’s so much farther weve got to go
how many people say what they mean?
how many people are what they seem?
we’ve come so far.  so far, no good

nowhere.  yeah. nowhere.
the world’s gotten nowhere
yeah we got real far.
so far no good
no good, no good, no good
so far, no good
no good…

dreamin’ about the word bein’ great?
wake up pal.  it’s too late
mind over matter.  matter over mind
so far, no good.  we’re so far behind.

too many lies, and not enough truth
an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth
we’re going backwards in time
we’re going nowhere fast
we’ve got to aim our sights or none of us will last

hey buddy wake up!  the world’s going down.
near failure in life.  beyond sight or sound.
is there anything good in this world?
is there anything left?
is there anything left?
tell me, is ther anything… anythingleft?

the world right now is in a bit of a mess
why do people die from a little bit of stress?
people are so mixed up they don’t know where to turn
war wages in the middle east, as we watch the oil burn

sitting in class

sitting in class so tired and bored
the teacher doesnt know hes being ignored

looking at all the notes I take
just trying to stay awake

thinking about later today
looking forward to getting away

drawing pictures of the old ugly fart
if he saw this paper he’d tear it apart

its time for me to put away my things
in a minute the bell will ring

only joking

only joking only joking
so are the words of a friend
really funny really funny
so is a broken heart
break it once, break it twice
stomp on it once and again

the happier i look, the sadder i am
youve torn me clear apart
im torn in half, ripped in two
never to truly smile again

so dreamful

i wake up in the morning
with happy thoughts of you
i live all through each day
thinking of ways to say
‘i love you’

at night i go to bed
thinking of what is aid
‘i wish you were here’

i know you may not see it
but its very clear to me
i know it sounds so dreamful
but im sure that we will be
‘together forever’

in this world there are so many people

in this world there are so many people
we love and hate them as they come and go

there are people we like
and there are ones we dont

were jealous when we see them prosper

we see them fall yet dont help them up
these people are you and i sometimes

were jealous of nothing
we dont even know what nothing is.

my mind is a sea of thoughts

my mind is a sea of thoughts
containing so many different things
always letting things enter
good and bad, day by day
seeing things come, but never leave

memory is so strange
collecting what it does
and never letting go
even of what we wish to forget
…memory is in control

Sincerely, neruaelle

A Guilt-Free Lifestyle

Hi-Tech P.I.

Helping people see the forest for the trees, online.

Holmes, P. I.™

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